Do Kids Nowadays Care About Graphics?

Short answer with no evidence or even an anecdote: No.

Longer answer with anecdotal evidence:

My 11-year old son is currently playing 1997's Dungeon Keeper and 2000's Nox. I picked up both when Electronic Arts' Origin service had "on the house" games and ever since my Alienware's graphics card bit the dust 5 years ago these are the kinds of games that run best. Objectively, put against the current generation of graphics these two games are terrible to look at, Dungeon Keeper's first-person mode is particularly hard to look at. Everything is smeared, blocky, stretched even with the resolution jacked to 640x480:

Source: Moby Games

Nox fairs slightly better, but the graphics -- if I may drag out an old phrase and utter it once more -- are shit.

Pretender No More: E3 2014

Although I'd felt brief impressions of being a pretender – someone that did not belong, someone that shouldn't be there but had somehow gotten away with a giant con – prior to attending my first production meeting, it wasn't until the introductions and initial briefing were underway that the word "fraud" fully formed in my mind.

Maybe the best way I can describe it...

It could be like the feeling you might have if every day you wished you could visit Paris. Years go by and you think the dream of getting to Paris will never be realized. Then one morning you groggily shake off the remnants of last night's Indian food and lager and realize you're standing on the inexplicably-named Avenue Franklin Delano Roosevelt outside Palais de la Decouverte, a stone's throw from La Seine and the Eiffel Tower. To be fair, it would be a hell of a throw to hit the Eiffel Tower from Palais de La Decouverte but that's really beside the point: You're suddenly in Paris!

Did you earn that trip? Deserve it? Did you pay your dues? Work all those extras at a job that pays just enough so you could sock away a few dollars from every pay stub to make your dream a reality? Did you hunt for the best deals on a flight? Figure out where to stay so you could stretch each dollar (or franc or Euro or whatever) to it's fullest?

In my brain, all that preparation stuff – those extra hours, that extra work, all that writing over the course of 15 years with The Armchair Empire – zipped out of my head and I was left with the feeling I imagine most murders feel at some point when they're in large crowds. Someone out there, someone close to you, is about to stand up and, with a Phoenix Wright flourish, call attention to the fact that you are, in fact, a killer.

So, what was this production meeting I'd conned myself into? Where had I arrived that I felt like I didn't deserve to be there?

Wax On! Wax Off! WAX WAX!

I really did think I would be blogging up a storm about games lately, especially with E3 in the rear-view mirror and the very recent flip-flop from Microsoft regarding their DRM/always on plan and the battle against used game sales, but I'm struggling with actually caring very much about games at the moment.

I'm not sure I want to turn this into a "Dear Diary..." exposition of my personal life but I feel comfortable enough to say that there are a lot of changes happening in my life and a particularly big change in a few weeks: moving.

I'll be honest, I hate moving.

It has a lot to do with the last time we packed up the house and moved everything.

We'd just returned from three weeks away in Florida and after a long drive back home from Seattle -- riding the bleeding edge of a snow/ice storm that turned the highways into bobsled runs -- and thought we were relatively prepared to move prior to leaving on vacation. How wrong we were! During the night, while we tried to shake jet lag, it snowed. Not a ton, but just enough to make manoeuvring a large moving truck extremely tricky. And, well, the list of things that went wrong extended from there -- more snow, taking way too long to pack our truck, etc. -- and at 1:00AM I was single-handedly trying to extricate the moving truck from the alley behind our new home with a shovel, handfuls of salt, and tubs of hot water. It was nasty! That was the first time I've ever been able to honestly say I was "bone tired" because I was barely functioning at the end of it and every step felt like an effort.

Brutal Legend Companion Video

A video companion piece to my recent Brutal Legend review on The Armchair Empire - Infinite. Here's a link to the full review in case you missed it.

Christy Clark and Me

The audio in the YouTube clip above came from an appearance on the Christy Clarke Show (on CKNW AM980 in Vancouver, BC) when I was guest just before Christmas 2007. I was there as a video game expert to talk about games, what was hot/not, what kids should and shouldn’t be playing, etc. Unfortunately for me – and I’ve done nothing to rectify this particular issue – I have zero media training so it’s kind of difficult to listen to five years after the fact.

Christy’s first question, “So, what are the hot games this Christmas?”

What do I do? I completely sidestep the question and start monologuing about ESRB ratings.

Michael Palin in Spa-a-a-a-ace!

If there’s one thing I don’t seem to have any shortage of its ideas.

Sometimes the ideas slow to a trickle when I’m feeling tired…

Come to think of it, a lot of my ideas come when my brain is fatigued and my body is a step above inert. Then there are other times, when I’m feeling good – rested! – and filled with that something-something that the French pegged so long ago, je ne sais quoi. Then ideas practically peel off my brain like some kind of metaphoric banana. There’s always more and more.

A Working E3

The gamer part of my brain truly loves E3.

There’s spectacle, controversy, games, and free food and booze. The order doesn’t really matter, but that’s what my gamer brain starts thinking about when it comes to E3. I conveniently forget about dehydration – my worst headaches are found at E3 – tired feet and almost bitter Los Angeles water. And besides that year in Santa Monica and the year after that at the Los Angeles Convention Centre, my ability to hear things properly quickly degrades.

Sleeping Dogs - 68% Done

My eyes aren't what they used to be. I know this for a fact. I don't wear glasses but it's possible my aged 36-year old eyeballs may need assistance. At least, that's what I'm taking away from Sleeping Dogs.

I'm playing the game on Xbox 360 (and a hi-def display) -- having a good time with it for the most part -- and when I have the subtitles on, which is always, I have a hard time reading them.

The dialogue often dips into Chinese (or Mandarin or Cantonese, I'm guessing), sometimes just for a word or two then swings back to English, but occassionally there are entire exchanges in Chinese which are subtitled in English but the font size is so incredibly small it's like I'm constantly taking an eye exam.

The trouble extends to other parts of the game as well: any part with text, like the menus and mission summations.

A "Planetside 2" Smack to the Face

Geez, Planetside 2 really drops the player into the thick of things without explaining a lick of what is going on.

I played for an hour or so last night and it's obvious that I should have spent some time watching some of the suggested "How To" videos because I was completely mystified for all but the last five minutes.

As an engineer class, some of the "skills" I honed from Battlefield: Bad Company 2 I was at least able to help out by repairing tanks, but since the battle rages far and wide I felt a little inadequate, particularly because I'd sprint out into the open and be blown to smithereens and have no idea why.

"Dishonored" Doesn't Bother With Spelling

Reviews of Dishonored are embargoed for a bit so this isn't a review by any stretch. This post is more along the lines of "impressions."

First, for some reason I can't stop reading the title as "Dish ono Red!" No real reason for that, it just happens. Maybe it's because I've been staring at the title looking for the missing "U." Localization of video games is big business but apparently Bethesda Softworks and Arkane couldn't be bothered to slip in a "U" for Canadian and British gamers. Or possibly the "U" escaped at some point and wound up at Nintendo.

The Rat Plague is pretty cool. At first, I thought maybe this was like The Plague in the traditional sense but this is actually a rat plague in the Biblical sense. I'm looking forward to how that part of the game pans out -- a squeaky third faction.

I can't figure out if Arkane was going for Steampunk or Whale Oil Punk or Medieval redux or American Civil War or what with the design of the characters and setting, but I'm certainly enjoying the look of the game. For some reason these clashing styles are blended together to make something interesting to watch and look at.

Buried: Mass Effect 3 Leviathan DLC

It's possible that BioWare and EA were going for some kind of meta experience with the Leviathan DLC for Mass Effect 3 -- not entirely sure; this the first piece of additional content for Mass Effect 3 I've played -- because it's so difficult to find.

The basic starting point for the Leviathan story is that there's this mysterious Reaper killer something out in deep space. It's up to Shepherd to find it. And it's up to the player to figure out where the hell the story arc is buried.

Granted I haven't played Mass Effect 3 in a while, but I was expecting a flashing light, a big button somewhere that said, "Leviathan, GO!" to kick off the story.

No.

So, I check Shepherd's email. Nothing obvious there. I wandered the Normandy and Citadel expecting a flashing arrow or other obvious indication of a starting point.

No.

What the hell? I went online to track this down. Surely, it can't be that difficult to start playing this thing that people have plunked down money to purchase.

Sleeping Dogs

It's quite possible I should not have bought a copy of Sleeping Dogs. (Playing it on 360.) We're coming up on the busy season for new releases and I can tell I won't be finished with the game before the games start flooding in. Which means that if I don't finish it quickly, I'll never get back to it because I'll be constantly assaulted by something new that has be thrashed through as quickly as possible in order to grab a share of the eyeballs looking for a review.

Being interrupted during a game, particularly when the conclusion/climax is within sight, is not the end of the world but it's certainly irritating. There have been a number of times that I've stopped playing a game to play other things and just never got around to going back and finishing a game off to see how the story ends.

I'm trying my utmost to blast through Sleeping Dogs because it's a success story -- I hope it's successful; the Vancouver game development community could do with a "win!" The game, a "continuation" of the True Crime games, was originally "cancelled" by Activision, was then picked up by Square Enix, reworked, and brought it to the masses to quite a bit of acclaim. Whether it pans out as a high seller remains to be seen. So, I wanted to see how it turned out. It wasn't a smooth development for sure, but if I don't finish it soon I'll be out of luck when it comes to actually seeing the credits roll.

Anyone else do this? Buy a game then take too long to finish it, get distracted, and never come back to it?

2003: Paul Myers Show

I've written about this elsewhere, but back in 2003, Mr. Nash and I appeared on AM730 MOJO Radio "Talk Radio for Guys" in Vancouver. The station is long dead, at least the talk radio format. It switched to all sports, and is currently a traffic station.

But back to 2003 in a time just before Christmas.

Nervous would have been putting it mildly. I was practically vibrating with anxiety as Jeff and I sat in the Corus Radio reception area waiting to be retrieved. Which is the only reason I can come up with for the fact I made up answers on the spot rather than say, "I don't know." If Jeff and I did the segment again now, 9 years on and a ton of more experience under our belts, this would have gone very differently. And I wouldn't be as nervous.

Video Commentary: The Attempt

Over on The Armchair Empire's official YouTube channel, Mr. Nash has been providing an assortment of commentary and video for the last few months but it's only recently I've tried my hand at doing the same thing.

I've done two videos so far, one for Prototype 2 and the one above for Ghost Recon: Future Soldier. There's plenty of room for improvement on my part but it is quite fun though I don't think it will replace my written articles.

Prototype 2 (PC): Turmoil

I will likely post a stream of Prototype 2 screens in the coming days. It launched yesterday for PC and I love the fact I can just hit F12 and produce a picture-perfect grab of whatever I'm looking at. Or using FRAPS or Bandicam and a button press automatically takes a pic after a set predetermined period.

The game finished downloading late last night -- early this morning, really -- so I haven't played anything beyond the main title screen. (I just wanted to be sure it booted up okay.) I'm not sure if I'll enjoy Prototype 2 as much this time around -- I reviewed the 360 version -- knowing that the studio is essentially closed.

This isn't a unique feeling to Prototype 2. I tried going back to TRON -- developed by the now-closed Propaganda Games -- and it's difficult for me to play more than a few minutes. I start thinking about the people that made the game that may have struggled mightily after the studio closure. Those with families to support; trying to make mortgage payments or car payments or rent. I'm sure some landed on their feet right away or got jobs in other areas of the tech sector or gaming. I want to go back and play L.A. Noire again, but after Team Bondi collapsed, it feels somehow wrong to be playing the game. This is obviously something tripping in my own brain; some intensive game therapy might be required.

It's always the last games as well. I've had no problem going back to the likes of Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction or Turok, but there's some kind of mental block when it comes to the last game a studio produced. I don't get physically ill or anything like that... I just don't feel good about it.

Deserves some additional thought....

*POP* Lollipop Chainsaw

Even before playing Lollipop Chainsaw, I kind of knew what I was getting into. Even without any fore knowledge of the title, aside reading press releases as the game neared release, the cover art acts as a perfect indicator of what will be found once the game boots up.

Titillation and craziness. Candy might be be involved. And a chainsaw that spews rainbows.

It's just weird. And that's even before I've played a second of the game.

Then it just gets stranger. More profane, too, but I'm not sure that does any favours for the game, which is mostly "hack, hack, pom-pom, slash" action from what I've played so far. Initial reaction is that I'm having fun with Lollipop Chainsaw because it is so weird and doesn't take anything seriously. I remember Bullet Witch being a little like that. For everything it did wrong, there was something unique about it -- mostly the locations. I remember one section where you faced off against a dragon while standing on top of a 747 in flight.

At any rate, my review of Lollipop Chainsaw should be ready this week.

Not Quite a Short Story: Free Fall

I wrote this almost two years ago and it was kind of inspired by a level in the game "Wet" and a particular scene from the Bond flick "The Spy Who Loved Me." It was cool to play another scenario like the one below in the opening minutes of "Saints Row: The Third."

---------------------------------

I can hear wind. It's whistling and it feels like I'm falling. I open my eyes in a squint.

I am falling and I grab my chest, clawing at a rip chord that isn't there. It's then that I notice debris falling with me. A fuselage of some kind of plane matches my speed. I point myself toward it. I inch closer to it on the wind and in the dim moonlight the interior becomes visible.

I reach the jagged edge of the fuselage and hold on to it, using what little leverage I have to haul myself in. It's dark so I fumble the walls, floor and ceiling or some order of the three. My fingers touch something familiar.

I strap the parachute to my back and kick off one of the seats to get myself clear of the debris. The ground is so close, I can easily make out features of the city below framed in the glow of streetlights and vehicle traffic. I pull the chord and there's a dull flapping sound and the world jerks up with a punch. My broken ribs scream and my breathing struggles in ragged chunks.

The debris begins to the hit earth.

So very close to the ground, searchlights suddenly hold me. It's quickly followed by a sputtering of gun fire. A massive explosion rocks the area above me, another one a hundred feet to my right.

I steer myself toward a black area and hope for the best. At the rate I'm falling, I should be able to make it, unless the fireworks from the ground manage to punch a hole in my salvation.

The Benevolence of the Games Industry

Benevolence: The Mark of the
Games Industry

I've been reading a lot about the recent implosion of 38 Studios, which also took out developer Big Huge Games and left multiple hundreds of people unemployed. There's no shortage of ink being spilled on this particular subject. Some pieces take good stabs at completely serious features chronicling what happened and the ramifications of this event.

But some of these very serious articles completely undermine themselves by including one or two lines that completely change my opinion of the entire article.

This is from an article The Verge posted a few days ago (linked above):

A slew of developers from around the country have been Tweeting that they are hiring in hopes of finding the hundreds of displaced employees jobs.

They were (or still are) developers aiming tweets at former 38 Studios employees. But this is an entirely common practice. It's not just when a studio goes does that the HR personnel mobilize to grab the best talent; tweets happen all the time. Does anyone seriously buy the idea that HR personnel have "hopes of finding the hundreds of displaced employees jobs." While not the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, this one makes the list.

This is how I imagine the conversation running in my head:

"Hey, Kathy, 38 Studios just went under, everyone was fired," says Tom. 

"Yes! I won't have to head-hunt anyone, they'll jump at the chance of working here!" says Kathy, who does a cartwheel and high-fives the nearest person.

HR Happy Dance!

This is what the feature would lead me to believe actually happens.

"Hey, Kathy, 38 Studios just went under, everyone was fired," says Tom.

"Oh, the poor dears," says Kathy. She slumps in her chair, lost momentarily in utter despair. Hope stirs. She stands up, kicks over her chair, starts typing away, and shouts in a booming voice, "We are going to find each and every one of those wretched souls a source of income! Be displaced no more, former employees of 38 Studios!"

I don't like to see anyone lose their job -- unless they're grossly incompetent -- and if I knew a guy that was free to take a job that would be perfect for him, of course, I'd make the recommendation, but I'm not sure why there's an assumption that game developers are selfless is making sure people have jobs. I'm sure other developers feel some sympathy and empathy for employees of 38 Studios, because I think they probably understand that it could just as easily be them that's out of a job, but that single paragraph manages to undermine the professionalism of the entire piece.

The Armchair Empire Explodes into the Future!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, IF NOT SOONER

THE ARMCHAIR EMPIRE EXPLODES INTO THE FUTURE

Move to blog format and expanded use of social networking and video content to bring “All Things Gaming” to the next level with “The Armchair Empire - Infinite”

Vancouver, British Columbia -- May 22, 2012 -- The Armchair Empire is proud to announce its second evolutionary stage, nearly 12 years in the making, with the launch of The Armchair Empire - Infinite (ae-infinite.com).

“It has been more than a decade since The Armchair Empire launched and it was probably about time we made use of some of the dramatic changes in technology to make our own dramatic changes,” said co-founder and head writer Aaron Simmer. “With The Armchair Empire - Infinite we’ll be able to react faster to news, gets reviews posted sooner, and do a better job integrating video content and social networking nonsense, etc.”

“Mostly we took this step to make our lives at least 56% easier,” said co-founder and VP of Video Content, Jeff Nash. “It was time to go “blog out” with the Armchair Empire - Infinite, which features the same writers, the same level of insight of the regular Armchair Empire, but the articles can be presented much faster and possibly with more sparkles.”

The Armchair Empire (armchairempire.com) will remain a vast planetoid of gaming information, reviews, previews, features, interviews, and editorials of the last dozen years. The Armchair Empire - Infinite is essentially a satellite launched in the hopes of remaining relevant and possibly ride on the likely success of BioShock Infinite.

The Armchair Empire - Infinite is here: ae-infinite.com

Kid "Hammerclaw" Icarus

I'm finally catching up with the latest Kid Icarus and I'm really having a hard time figuring out what some members of the enthusiast press have been saying about the controls for this game.
From the way some described them, the controls are enough to turn a person's hands into a bundle of arthritic, claw-like sticks. I'm a couple hours into the game and -- playing without the included stand -- I'm not experiencing any problems so far. And since the game hasn't deviated from the flying/ground/flying combat mix, I'm not anticipating any.

Of course, I'm not walking around playing the game. I've been sitting on the bus/Skytrain. It has presented no problems.

My only complaint related to the controls is that sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm dashing the direction I think I should be.

So far, it has been a fun experience! And I would agree with some commentators that this might have started its development life as a Wii game. The controls would translate favourably to the Wii Remote and nunchuck.